PLATONIC LOVE IS POSSIBLE
12/23/2010
RETURN TO ALBERTA HISTORY 1945-1949
GENEALOGY
Return to the GENEALOGY INDEX.
Love is not desire,
it is a belief of good between people,
which is a basic principle of humanity,
it's values, virtues, truths and actions.
No family history is complete without speaking about ones first love. Mine developed one summer in 1947 at Lac La Nonne, Alberta at the tender age of ten years of age. I was sequestered from my friends and made to spend a miserable week at the lake. My brothers and sister, for reasons I can't recall, were not along, which made the week painfully boring. The only others on the beach was a couple, who were friends of my parents (I think their name was Piper) and their little girl aged about eight years. Now no macho boy would lower himself to hang out with an eight or nine year old 'girl'.
After reading for two or three days I decided to go for a swim. While I was sunning myself this little girl came over and sat down. I sort of ignored her and it never crossed my mind, she might also be bored, as there was no other little girls to hang out with. I didn't ask for her name but I think it was Mary or Anne Piper, but I am not sure this is correct. I also believe she might have been adopted. Shows you how interested you are at that age especially about girls. . After about ten minutes she asked, what are you going to do today. I said to turn her off, I think I will go to the grave yard. It's a small grave yard from the turn of the century and badly overgrown, sure to turn off any young girl. She said can I come? Being macho, I said, sure why not! She then surprised me by saying what should I wear. I thought to my self coveralls and combat boots, but I said a dress. I thought at the time this was a bit mean, but after all, she was just a kid and if I had to hang out with a girl, she had better look like a girl..
She came out of her cabin dressed in a nice summer dress. At that age a nice summer dress is one with vivid colors and long skirted. It might have been a blouse and skirt, but at that age, every thing was called a dress, by young boys. I was surprised her parents didn't have words with us but they were good friends of my parents. We started out for the grave yard, with her walking five paces behind me, through the woods. She never complained and kept pace. We inevitably reached a fence which I scaled with little problem. I stood waiting when she said, I can't get over that with my skirt. I was going to say, well then go back home but I remembered I had suggested she wear a dress. I guess I was feeling guilty. I climbed the fence and gave her a hand to lift her up the wooden split log fence. I then climbed down to guide her down the other side. Now I had to hug her tight to get her down. Thank God no other boys were around. I hugged her longer than was necessary and I was amazed, it sent a warming feeling over me. I think I experienced male chivalry for the first time. It sure wasn't sexual at that age. We spent the afternoon reading every tomb-stone. We picked wild flowers for her mom. Coming back to camp, I took the long way via the road, to avoid the heavy undergrowth and high fence. I could hardly believe myself, I held her hand all the way back to camp, but not in front of others.
I was feeling quite proud of myself, so I went calling on her next day. She said where are 'we' going today and what should I wear? Normally this would evoke a negative response but I was still feeling good about yesterday. I said to the mink ranch. Now outsiders were not allowed to go to the mink ranch, because if you spooked the mink they would kill their young. It was also in a grubby location. I said pants and long sleeve shirt. We started out through the woods towards the mink ranch. As soon as we left the camp, I again took her hand, as it just felt good. We had to skulk through the woods and by pass the NO TRESPASS signs and slither under the barbwire fence. I told her not to make sudden noises or movements around the mink. We covered the whole ranch without an incident or getting caught. We then picked wild berries and returned to camp. I was beginning to really enjoy her company.
The next day was a repeat of yesterday and I told her we were going boating. She again said what should I wear. I said shorts. She bounded into the cabin and was back out in seconds. This amazed me because my sister would take 20 or 30 minutes to get ready for an outing. What I didn't tell her was the boat was old, leaking and you used a board to propel the boat. That's why shorts and no shoes were recommended. However the boat came with a bailing bucket. Now I was a strong swimmer but Mary couldn't swim a stroke. I was confident I could get her to safety if the boat sank. I was prepared to give up my life for her safety, chivalry strikes again. In the lake was a fairly large island that I was determined to paddle around, for the first time. We stayed as close to shore as possible. Mary had to bail the whole trip, but we made it. The boat was in such bad shape, that it was it's last trip. It sunk upon landing. I think they burned it later in the summer. We were both exhausted.
The next day, as usually, she said, what's on for today. I said explore the interior of the Island. What to wear, I said bathing suit as we have to wade over to the Island, which was about 100 feet from main land, but I said bring pants, shirt, shoes and a blanket. I hoisted her upon my shoulders and she carried our cloths and I waded us to the Island. The water was up to my neck but we traversed it in good shape without getting the cloths wet.. On the Island was three log cabins. At one time there was a bridge to the Island but the Island was long deserted. In the first log cabin we changed into our exploration clothing. She went to another room to change and I thought this was weird, as she was beginning to feel and act like one of the guys. I actually forgot she was a girl. I asked her why she was going into the other room to change. I think I kidded her about that, but all she said was 'I am a girl'. Then it dawned on me, what a good sport she really was, and her parents never questioned our exploits, as I am sure she told them everything. We trekked the whole Island, visited all the cabins, looking for treasure. I had a small secret grassy clearing spot where we suntanned. I think we must have changed back into our bathing suits but we talked for hours. We never got sun burned so she must have brought suntan lotion, I can't remember. We returned to the main land and called it a day.
The next day the vacation was
over. We all returned to Edmonton in one car, her parents, my mother and
Mary and I in the back seat. I can't recall my father being on this
vacation. But I am sure he was for the first day of the
vacation. He definitely was not on the return trip which consisted
of Mr. & Mrs. Piper, my mom in the front seat and Mary and I in the back
seat. The trip was about 70 miles over country roads, so it took about an
hour and a half. On the way back I finally realized that I loved Mary and hugged
her all the way home. Actually she sat on my lap and I held her with my
hand on her inner thigh. She placed her hand on my hand and we held
that position all the way. I remember I was in seventh heaven. Now this wasn't sexual in
anyway, just a warm fussy feeling. I discovered later if you placed your
hand on a girls intimate parts, if she liked you, she would put her hand on
yours, if she didn't she would remove your hand. If she liked you but the
timing was not right, she moved your hand to a safer location.
It ran through my mind, what to do? We were
too young to date. I had never seen her at church, as they likely attended
different services. So my grand plan was to offer my services as baby
sitter. My reasoning is if they trusted me with their daughter, on
vacation, doing wild things, baby sitting would be easy. They never called me to baby sit,
maybe because they only found out, after the fact, about our ventures, when they got home.
Slowly Mary faded from my memory but will never be truly lost. She had taught me
platonic love is possible and girls can be great creatures after all. She
was one of 6 true loves of my life. Some call it a soul mate.
About 1948-1949 I was 11 or 12 years old and had my second encounter that proved I wasn't ready for any relationship. A girl made a point of seeking me out and sitting beside me in church. I remember thinking this was cool and I even sought her out a few times and sat beside her. I learned that it was good to respond even if there was no mutual feelings. However I was still very naive. That was the extent of this encounter.
I had my third encounter with love in 1950 at the age of 13.
It was a time of
sexual awaking, a rite of
passage, an entry into a new area. The first
feelings of true love for a girl developed in 1947. This year began what I
called phase two, a much deeper understanding and connection with true love. My parents took in an orphaned
girl for Easter week. She must have been about age 7 or 8. She
instantly made a binding connection with me, by following me around the house
wherever I went, and holding on to my hand or clothing, as though for dear
life. We listened every night to the radio and she would snuggle up beside
me, hanging on to my arm or hand. We listened to such programs as the
Shadow, the Green Hornet, Cloak and Dagger and the Inner Sanctum. When ever
we went, to church or shopping she wouldn't let go of my hand. It felt
wonderful being wanted. It wasn't sexual just a deep feeling of
loving. It was so strong I gave up going out with my friends that week to
spend more time with this little girl.
I remember begging and pleading with my mother to
keep her. I had always wanted a little sister. I had a sister but
she was a big sister and we had trained her to be a tom boy, not small and cuddly.
I offered to give her
half my food, to get a job to pay for her clothing, to help her with school
work, she wouldn't be any trouble. It ended up that she wasn't an orphan
but was placed in an orphanage because her parents were broke, unemployed and
would return for her when their fortunes improved. As a result she couldn't
be adopted out. I was divested and rode my bike past the orphanage 5-6
times trying just to get a glimpse of her, without luck. Later I realized
she must have suffer much greater than me and again felt abandoned. I
learned that life is not fair. I learned that as time passes you
can't recapture the moment, so make the most of the moment while you can.
I learned that the ME is not as important as the WE. I think the
reason for this connection was our family didn't have true intimacy in the
family and here was a true reflection of unguarded intimacy that I so
craved. I don't even recall what we talked about, just that the closeness
was overwhelming.
What it did teach me was that I needed to be needed. It confirmed my
strong feelings for wanting the married life and children. I believe this little girl
instilled in me the importance of children in your life. It was about this
time I started to create a list of attributes to use in the selection of a life
long mate. I however didn't take it very seriously at this time.
To follow this quest go to the page listed below:
GO TO MY
DATING PERIOD DATING and my quest for love.